Loving and living in uncertainty

Loving and living in uncertainty

Submitted by alvin on Sat, 2016-06-25 10:24 Bengaluru: Live-in relationships, where unmarried couples stay together in long-term relationship, are increasingly under focus these days as more couples are confidently embracing it. But for every relationship that works, there are several which end in disaster.   Last year, Bengaluru City Police helpline Vanita Sahayavani registered more than 87 cases pertaining to live-in relationships. Senior counsellors say that they get at least 5 to 6 such cases every month.Aparna, senior counsellor at Vanita Sahayavani, spoke of cases in which relationships began well but suddenly went downhill after a few months or years. “People get into live-in relationship either for money, sex, social security or for other reasons. Live-in relationships are prevalent not just among young but also those in late forties,” she said, adding that in most cases partners’ parents are unaware about the relationship.“It is not only women who are vulnerable but even men are being deceived by women,” she said and cited the case of man from Mangaluru who was cheated by a woman. “A 24-year-old Christian woman from Mangaluru was in a relationship with her 26-year-old Hindu colleague. They stayed together for five years. One day she left for her native saying her mother was not well but was married off by her parents to a boy of the same religion. Her partner in Bengaluru kept waiting for her,” said Aparna.There are also those who get into live-in relationship for money. Rani Shetty, another counsellor, narrated a case where two techies from different companies moved in together after meeting each other through social media. “They stayed together for a few months but the man started harassing the woman. He broke her fingers and hit her. As the woman’s salary and position was much better, the partner took advantage of her. But when she resigned, he started beating her. Now they are separated,” she said.Rani cited another case where a man was in a live-in relationship with a widowed woman with two children.“He provided her all facilities and looked after her and children but he did not want to marry her because his parents had told him that he would not get his share of property if he married the woman. So for the sake of financial support the woman continued to be in a relationship with him,” said Rani.“In these kind of cases, there is lot of pressure from the society and parents to marry. She wants to marry the partner who is staying with her, but the man simply wants to move on as he is not committed,” added Rani.Last year, Supreme Court ruled that live-in relationships are acceptable. But the court also stated that women in live-in relationships have to be given the status of a wife so that she would be eligible to inherit the property of her partner after his death.The courts have also ruled that women are liable to be paid palimony (maintenance) in case of termination of a live-in relationship.But Premila Nesargi, ex-chairman, Karnataka State Women’s Commission, expressed unhappiness over the SC verdict making live-in relationships acceptable. “Such relationships don’t have recognition in India,” she said and lamented over the way couples get into relationships and break them. “Then what is the difference between human beings and animals? In some cases, women give birth to children who suffer ultimately. Women expect money from men when they break such relationships. It is more about lust than love,” she said.