Stop being perfectionist. Live life

Stop being perfectionist. Live life

Submitted by alvin on Fri, 2016-07-08 10:34 Once, life bestowed a man with an empty book and pen. Life told him, “You can write one page per day. Even if you don’t write, page turns the next day. You can’t get back to the old page”. This man was known for his perfectionism. He desired to perform marvels in his lifetime and he even wanted wonders to be perfect!! As this man was very fussy, he couldn’t write anything nonsense! So, he went on exploring profound aspects. No idea seemed perfect or appealing. The days went on, but he didn't write a letter! When only the last page was left, something snapped, while he was about to note down, the book vanished and a human took its place. The human stated, “Perfection is only an illusion. What appears perfect for you is still the work in progress for someone’s eyes, what is best in your eyes is ordinary in somebody’s view. Great things are performed after great mistakes. Until you understand the greatness or importance of mistakes, you can’t ever get anything greater out of your knowledge!"Life asked him to write, but he couldn’t jot down a letter! He wanted everything to be perfect and whatever popped in his head couldn’t size up to his expectation... Giving our best is always needed. But perfection is rigidity! Any rule we set for our self is nothing but the wall built around our soul. It doesn’t let the life to flow through it. We say ‘I am this and that’. We don’t realise this inflexibility is binding us from expressing ourselves completely.We create some image about ourselves in our minds unconsciously; “I can’t bear imperfection.. I am really particular about stuffs. I should always do something different and great!” All our life is nothing but a constant struggle to live up to this image! When we get rewards from the outside world in the form of result to our action, praise or promotion, our ego gets boosted and embraces this image and solidifies it!We don’t know the joy that comes from trying. We have attached too much importance to the results. We are afraid of doing anything imperfectly because, if we fail, it wouldn’t lead us to the desired result! This attachment to the reward only makes us miserable. On the one hand, we desire things to be perfect, and at the same time we can’t invest our complete potential as part of our energy is deeply bothered about rewards and tomorrows!When we understand life, we realise this idea of perfection, confusion and fear of failing is nothing but the game made by the mind. The mind wants to be comfortable, it loves inaction! It can’t stand the anxiety created by trying, falling and failing. It states something so that we can temporarily take a breather and unwind. But the matter is such rest brings with it tons of tension and anxiousness! It tells us to work tomorrow perfectly and when tomorrow comes, the mind will blame us for holding over the job and further postpones it for one more tomorrow! This leads to guilt and frustration. Ultimately our soul suffers and we never realize its potential!Life has its own style, rhythm. It requires us to learn and develop as per its norms!  It asks us to dance to its tunes. It wishes us to live fully. But we think we are the universe, bigger than life itself! We take up the position of creator and want to create perfections! It is as if everything in this world is created perfectly because of our attempt and our tendency of making the world perfect!It’s always good to give our best. Mistakes are part of the journey. But our ego, which is so attached to perfection and greatness doesn’t allow us to believe in this. It feels insecure about mistakes. It feels inferior about being less perfect than imagined.  It doesn’t understand life is a journey, a beautiful flow and blocking it with our sternness only makes it bitter and hard!But when the time reminds us that life is finite and end is certain, only then we realise it is time to live and life is not about living perfectly, it is about living fully, joyfully!Author:Sushma Sindhu is a psychologist and Founder/ Author of www.luminouslane.com.